Catch-up

Wow!  It has been months since I have written on my blog.  Things have been busy with school.  However I can't say that I didn't have time, I guess in reality I have just been all about Facebook!  It is much easier and more entertaining to get on Facebook than listen to professors or blog.  I have been fairly diligent about reading the blogs of my friends, so that I can catch up with them. 

 

I am almost done with all of my classes.  I will be finished with everything but student teaching the week of June 22nd.  I actually caught up with most of my work from this last semester and the first.  The only thing I have yet to complete is a group project from my Methods and Materials in Language Arts class.  I have completed the minimum requirements, or so I hope, of my e-portfolio.  You can visit it at www.nathanbrinkhoff.com.  When I have more time I actually plan on linking work that I have completed so that I can actually use it.  Being done with that Technology class is a lot of stress of my back.  I took both Praxis II tests needed for elementary education at the end of April.  I feel confident, and should hear more in a couple of weeks.  Fingers crossed!  In July I have signed up for the brand new testing requirement for certification, the Foundations of Reading Test.  This was another $130, but unlike the Praxis there really is no test preperation material.  Ugh.

 

This last weekend on May 9 I walked in the commencement ceremony for my Master's degree.  I was hesitant to walk, considering I had planned to do it next year.  I was told a few weeks ago that I had to walk this May, but I was trying to fight it so that my family could come and see, as I know my dad really wanted to.  They wouldn't let me.  Lucky for me I have such a sweet and caring husband, and he surprised me greatly.  He had arranged to get buddy passes from a friend, and they flew into JFK airport in NYC on Friday, and I drove them back on Sunday morning.  I was under the impression that we were going to visit the aforementioned friend as he was flying in for the night, but to my surprise my dad, his wife, and my younger brother were there!  I was ecstatic.  We drove them around and then went to eat in Times Square.  Saturday after the commencement we were all tired so we hung around Connecticut!  I loved having them here!  I really hope they come back for a longer stay soon.... that goes for all of my dear friends!  The commencement was wonderful with almost 1600 students graduating.  I must admit that now I want to get my doctorate (in about 10 years) so that I can have an awesome robe to wear!!!!  I saw one professor who looked like she was straight out of Harry Potter with a beautiful light blue robe!   With some research I found out that her alma mater was Cambridge University..... so the UK it is :)  LOL.

 

Hope everyone is well!!

Survey

Well my friend JL had an idea to do a survey on her blog.  Here are the questions she asked me.  It is a simple way to make sure I blog.  If you would like to do a survey please let me know, and I will send you questions to answer.  

1. What is your favorite thing about living on the East Coast?

My favorite thing about living on the East Coast are the people. People may be a little less hospitable than they are in Colorado, but they are also more accepting. People are judged more by their character than what they are. Being gay is what makes me difference, but here in Connecticut few people have a problem with that, and if they do they keep it to themselves. People understand that one's sexuality is part of an individual but does not define them. When I lived in Colorado I felt constantly judged, and still do when I go back to visit. In Colorado it seemed that individuality was not really sought for. Here on the east coast I also love the different people and cultures that live here. Being so close to New York City we see immigrants all the time. While my family in Colorado says all Muslims are bad, I see many of them around here, and some even go to my school.  At the University I attend a large apart are Asian.  Going to NYC is fun as you really get to see different cultures.  There are sections of the city where large groups of individual cultures resided, such as Chinatown, Little Italy, Koreatown, etc.  

I also love the East Coast because of the history.  Since the East Coast was settled earlier than the rest of the country, there is more history. I also love the fact that states in the East are much smaller than in the West, and distances between major cities are less.  For example, in Colorado it would take 8 hours to cross the state.  Last year in 8 hours we went from Bridgeport, CT to Montreal.  From where we live it is 40 miles to NYC, 2 hours to Boston, 5 hours to DC, 4 hours to Philadelphia.  There are also numerous methods of getting around: train, subway, taxi, bus, etc.    We are planning on moving to Boston within the next 5 years, and I am looking forward to it because I plan on getting rid of the car and using the T to get around. 

2. Being the music guru that you are, what do think is one album that everyone should own and why?

This is hard.  I love music, but I am well aware that my musical tastes are not in tune with everyone's.  I love Janet Jackson and Britney Spears as most of you well know. I would have to say Janet's "The Velvet Rope" and "Rhythm Nation" are two that everyone should hear.  I also loved Robin Thicke's "Evolution" CD.  One of my most favorite albums of all time is Eric Benet's "A Day in the Life..".

3. What is your favorite thing about being a teacher?

My favorite thing about teaching is opening up the eyes of students to the options they have.  It is depressing that not many of them seem concerned about it, they accept life at such a young age.  When I am able to help them see differently it is beyond words.  

4. How would you describe yourself? Do you think your friends and family would agree? 

I would say that I am very honest and caring.  I always hope for the best for people.  Even when they have done me wrong I hope them the best.  I have been told that I care more for others than for myself.  I enjoy life overall.  I am very loyal to my family and friends, though I may not talk to them as much as I would like.  I may be shy at first, but when I am comfortable I am very talkative.  I try to make things as enjoyable as possible.  I am not the brightest bulb in the bunch, but I try ;)  LOL.  I am also very open-minded and accepting.  Even when I don't agree with someone about their beliefs I do not hold it against them.  I think this is how others would see me as well.

5. If you could change something or several things in your life, what would they be and why?

What would I change..... hmmm... well I am absolutely happy with the way my life has turned out.  I guess one thing I would change is that I would have started sticking up for myself much earlier, with people or at work.  I also probably would not have stayed with Wal-Mart as long as I did.  I let stress consume me too often, and I have learned not to do that.  I should have also adopted the attitude of  "If I ignore it or let it pass, then I condone it" long ago.

Past/Present

This weekend I checked my Myspace page, which I rarely do anymore. I had a message from somebody named Josh from Colorado. I had no idea who this person was, until I read the message. The message was from my half-brother. He said that his Grandma wanted my brothers and I to know that her husband had died in October. This message brought so many different emotions.

My brothers and I were born to the same parents, as most people are LOL. When I was around 4 my parents divorced. My dad remarried shortly after. For years we would travel from the Denver area where we lived to Stratton in eastern Colorado, where our biological mother and family lived. Conveniently my paternal grandparents also live in the same county still. I have very few memories of my biological mother or her side of the family. I remember her parents, our "grandparents" and their house. I remember how I loved how at noon a siren would sound to tell everyone it was lunchtime throughout the area, as it still does when I visit my paternal grandparents, my favorite people, in Flagler, CO. I remember being very intrigued by the laundry chute in their house. I remember playing outside their house feeling the prairie wind blow. I also remember that it was at their house we learned how to make passing truck drivers honk their horns whenever we motioned with our arms. I remember stopping by Dairy Queen often as we travelled the almost 3 hours between Denver and Stratton. I vaguely remember playing with cousins. I remember some of my Aunt and Uncles' names. Of my biological mother I remember very little. I remember her as unstable. The only vivid memory I have of her is gathering my brothers and I in the round carpet covered staircase in her parent's house, where she was frantically asking us if we loved her as she held a knife to her wrist. I remember the three of us (aged 6-10 maybe) crying and trying to reassure her that we did love her. I also remember being at a family gathering in Arvada with my dad's family and getting a phone call that our mother was in the hospital. She had been at a bar and some guy had raped her and beaten her, she had a hole in her lung. I remember panicking, but I do not remember seeing her anymore. Later we heard a rumor that she married the guy who raped and beat her, and they had two children, a son and a daughter.

In October of 1992 my parents moved us from Denver, CO to Durango, CO. It was a move across the great state of Colorado, that took us relatively far away from everyone in our family, anywhere from 3-8 hours travel time to any family member. It was shortly after we moved that I remember talking to my maternal grandparents on the phone, and crying because they were so angry because we never called them. I remember I was very upset because I thought I had truly hurt them. It was not until later that I realized that they were the adults, we were 9, 11, and 13 years old, why did we have to be the responsible ones. I remember still being upset when we got a letter from our "mother". The multi-page letter written on a yellow legal pad came rushing back this weekend. That letter was one of the most painful to read. Our mother said that she did not want anything to do with us anymore, that she had so many responsibilities that she could not worry about us too. She gave up all legal rights to us. That was the last we ever heard of her. I remember we all went to Denver to a court where she gave up parental rights hoping to see her one last time, but we did not. She would not come. After that our stepmother adopted us, and we referred to her as Mom. That was the last we heard from our biological mother or anyone in her family. We were cut out of their lives.

We still heard about them all from time to time as Kit Carson County is in rural Colorado. My dad's parents live in Flagler, CO and often go to Burlington for Dr. appointments and Stratton to get groceries. They would run into someone from our mother's side of the family. Apparently they asked about us a few times, and we heard about them. I remember sitting out in the car with my Grandpa one time while my Grandma was grabbing something in the grocery store years after contact was ended, and I saw a familiar face look in the car as she walked by. It was my maternal grandmother. I was later told that the next time she saw my paternal grandmother, she asked if it was me, and was pleased to see me. We had heard that our biological mother had indeed had two more children and was married, but we did not know to whom.

I remember that my parents made us go to counseling, which was a waste of time. I realized that I was comforted only by my father's family. I never felt close with my stepmother's family, except with her mother. Now that she is gone and my parents divorced, I do not see myself has having any family other than my dad's family and my husband and son. I tried to reach out to my biological mother and her family be inviting them all to my high school graduation. I only received one reply back and they could not make it, nobody else bothered to reply. Apparently from what Josh told me though he remembered seeing a picture of me at his aunt and uncle's house, the ones that replied.

I am actually quite anxious. I do not want to be rude to him. I have thought often of driving to Stratton and finding and talking to my former family members when I was in Flagler visiting my grandparents, but did not want to give up time with them, so I never did. I have exchanged numerous Myspace messages with Josh and now email messages. I know that he and his sister are innocent so I will be civil with them. They would like to meet us. I do not know if that will ever happen. He gave me my biological mother's email address, but I kindly told him that I was not interested in emailing his mother.

I hope everyone out there is doing well. I am rather numb at the moment. I do not know how I feel. I should be asleep but right now I am emotional as I write this. I am sending my love out to anyone who wants it...xoxoxo

A Day to be Proud Of

I am disappointed only because I was unable to watch the inauguration in person as I had hoped.  It was too expensive and as I came into work this morning one of the staff members said they just came into 4 tickets yesterday, and they wanted to call me but didn't have my number.  C'est la vie I suppose ;)  I am also disappointed as we were unable to watch the swearing in ceremony via the internet as the feed was too slow and our school does not have very many technological capabilities.  I will watch it on replay over and over again after my classes tonight...much as I watch Hillary Clinton's speech at the DNC at least twice a month..if not weekly.  :)

Now that former President Bush is heading back to his hole in Texas (it feels great referring to him as former President) the reality of the situation for President Obama is upon us all.  I am so proud of President Obama and his vision for America and the world. I am disappointed in some people who have been saying that he is doomed for failure.  Even though I am staunchly anti-Bush, I never hoped that he would fail.  Granted after he did, I made no qualms about letting my feeling known.  I would never hope for failure as it would also be our burden to bear.  I understand that President Obama may not be able to live up to the hype that has been built up for him, but I am sure that he can deliver on his promises.  

Here are just a few of the things that I hope President Obama and Congress can quickly get to work on. They are in no particular order, and I will add more later. For starters here is my list:

* The economy is obvious. Too many people are being put out of work and too much is being cut.  Here in Bridgeport we are facing a $20 million+ deficit in the budget.  Half of it has been made up, but people are asking to take more from the Board of Education.  People are being asked to give back some of their vacation days or pay.  There are some things that should not be touched, and our public school systems is high on that list. I am not saying this as I am working to be a teacher, but would say it at any point. Especially here in Bridgeport where approximately 95% of the students are eligible for free or reduced meals, determined on poverty.  The schools are not in good shape.  Many do not have what they need to begin with, and taking more away from these kids is too much to ask.  

* Diplomatic efforts- I think that Hillary Clinton will be a superb Secretary of State and eagerly look forward to her being confirmed and getting to work to repair our relations with the world.  Many people still think that the US is the number one country in the world, which in most aspects it is.  It is no surprise however that people around the world look at Americans differently thanks to the Bush administration. Last year when I went to Canada I was afraid to speak.  I am very proud to be an American and have a vision comparable to President Obama's.  However, under Bush I did not want people to assume that I was supportive of him or his policies.  I am liberal yes but more importantly I consider myself fairly intelligent. I have always understood that more problems can be solved using diplomacy and conversation than combative tactics.  As teachers, parents and respectable adults that is what we teach our children, so it does not make sense to have an administration that chooses violence over words, or has ridiculous/dramatic stipulations in place before they will discuss problems with other world leaders.  Obviously we expect President Obama to pull out of Iraq, particularly since it is still unclear why we are there to begin with.  Afghanistan has human rights issues, I understand that. Iraq has not since Saddam Hussein was captured, let alone put to death YEARS ago.  There are many issues throughout the world that need to be solved (Israel/Gaza) but working with other countries to solve them is the way to go.  The United Nations was created for this reason, to be like the "world police" but we have taken it into our own hands.  It is too costly for us to continue to do so.  We need to repair ourselves domestically before looking to help internationally.

* AIDS Awareness- I will give kudos to former President Bush for his fight against AIDS in Africa.  He saved millions of lives, but he could have saved millions more by stressing safe-sex practices.  The same goes for here in the United States.  I really hope that President Obama and Congress nix the Abstinence based sex education program.  This program may be ideal but it is not realistic.  Rather than stress abstinence use the education platform to talk about ways to practice safe sex, as that is the way most people seem to be heading.  Condoms would help slow the spread of HIV and AIDS and other STDs.  While I acknowledge Former President Bush's attempt, it is an example of him putting faith before humanity.  

* Equality Issues- This must first be done here in America before worrying about elsewhere.  Many of these equality issues pertain to the LGBT community, and so are not much interest to many people.  They are to me however.  I would love to see the passage of ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act at the federal level.  It is ridiculous that in today's day and age  American citizens/taxpayers can still be fired for being gay.  I am so tired of hearing that homosexuality is a choice, it is not.  The choice is whether one accepts who they are and is honest with themselves or they suppress/lie about their true identity, marry and eventually fall from "the hands of grace" and bring innocent victims along with them (I am talking to you Larry Craig and Ted Haggard among others).  As much as I would love to see Marriage Equality passed so that I could feel free to travel across my country without risking everything, it is not feasible yet.  I think we need to continue having the discussion about keeping religious beliefs out of the Constitution.  We also need to educate Americans that Civil Unions are not comparable to marriage, as there are approximately 1138 rights that show the difference between the two, but at least it is a step toward acceptance.  I would of course love to see the damn "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy revoked. 

These are just a few of the tasks that I would love to see President Obama tackle.  I don't have much faith in many politicians but I do have a ton of faith in his abilities.  I also think that he has made a very wise choice in Vice President Biden and the rest of his cabinet.  Whatever direction we travel with this administration it will be in a more positive one.

Cheers to all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I just wanted to wish everyone out there a wonderful and safe end to 2008 and welcoming of 2009! In the near future I am most looking forward to say good riddance to G.W. Bush and his satan-incarnate cinet (esp, Dick Cheney for many reasons) and welcome in a new hopeful president in Barack Obama and VP Joe Biden....with my girl Hillary as Sec. of State hopefully!

I would just like to say a few words to some of my friends:

O- of course I always look forward to waking up to your smiling face every morning, but I eagerly look forward to what 2009 brings us (maybe a baby brother for T).

T- You are the smartest, cutest, and kindest boy I know... I love you so much. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life.

Piscesmama- I hope that the Rooferman drama ends SOON so you and LB can move on with your lives. You deserve to be happy and if there is anything we can do for either of you please let me know. I love you so much and can't stand to see you upset. I also hope that 2009 you will find a man who will treat you right and love LB as a father should. I also hope that your professional woes are solved :) XOXOXOXOX

JL- I hope that your business ventures prove successful a hundred fold. I hope that you and your family stay well. I am sorry to hear about your uncle. I also hope that you are soon swept off your feet by a tall handsome man who knows the prize he has found in you. You are one of my best friends...and have been for what 14 years?....and I always wish for you to be happy. My wish for you is a thousand wishes more.

Curmudge- I hope you and N. continue to be a beautiful example of love.....don't get sick..hold it in ;) I know you may not read this. I also wish you the best in health and whatever you choose.

E and Tesa- May the birth of your new baby bring you all and A. the most joy and excitement! I hope that the drama between your parents cease and you can all be happy again.

For all of my other friends. I wish much happiness and love for you all!

Happy 2009! I love you all!

BTW-I have not had a drink ...yet..... so this is not liquor sap.... though I do have a whole bottle of champagne waiting for me... :)

Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I hope your day was full of good food, good friends, and good times with your family. Maybe even a drink or two!!

Our Thanksgiving consisted of going to Manhattan. While we were sleeping O. woke up freezing so I turned up the heater and gave him an extra blanket. Then he said he was burning up. I thought, oh crap he is getting sick! Not good. When we finally woke up he was dizzy and had a huge headache. We had arranged to go serve food at a community center in Manhattan. I said that we could cancel, as T was also not feeling well during breakfast. Rather everyone took some Dayquil plus a day's supply and we went!

I got up and baked a french toast/apple/cinnamon casserole type thing that I had prepared the night before. I had never tried it but a few years ago my aunt was talking all about it and gave me the recipe. The other day I came across the cookbook and read the recipe. It was delicious but if I make it again I think I will go with granny smith apples rather than the gala ones I used. I will also add raisins!

After breakfast we got in the car to drive down the road to the train station (we were running a little late). We parked the car and hauled ass across the street to the train station, as the train was pulling in. I had a backpack (with Hillary's book which I am almost done with) and we had two pumpkin pies that we had made the night before. We barely made the train. Luckily O had tickets already. The conductor said he saw us running so he waited. That was nice. Then we had a relaxing ride on the train to Grand Central. Then we took a couple of subways and a nice walk to the Goddard Community Center. There we were among many volunteers serving the needy and elderly. It was a lot of fun. At first O and T were in the kitchen making coffee and I would bring the large metal containers back and forth to refill either coffee or hot water. Then they said that kids were not allowed to be in the kitchen so T and O went out and started serving desserts and cider to the people. There was live music there. We were really glad to we did it. We are supposed to do the same thing Christmas Day but we are going to try and find somewhere more local to volunteer at then.

Originally we thought that after we volunteered we would swing by Chinatown for some dinner. Then we remembered that O had won a gift card to a group of restaurants from work. One of those restaurants is one of our favorites, Ruby Foo's. It is a great sushi place with excellent food all around. O and I have gone there a few times on dates, the first being our wonderful first weekend alone, our birthday weekend in April of 2007, after we met in Febuary. We decided to try their newest restaurant, Wildwood BBQ, as they offered a Thanksgiving menu. However after being in a kitchen and watching hundreds of plates, maybe even a thousand, of turkey pass by us, turkey was the last thing we wanted. So we just ordered some pulled chicken sandwiches. The food was good. It reminded us a little bit of Serious Texas BBQ back in Durango!! Delicious food, only more expensive. I even had a drink, my first in a couple of months. It was too much money, but it tasted so good! A smoked pear margarita!

We then returned home on the train. O passed out as soon as he sat down. I guess after taking Dayquil every two hours, his body grew a bit immune to them. I tried to read Hillary Clinton's autobiography, which I started months ago. I have not had a chance to read it much in the last four months. I read as much as I could as well as attend to T's attentive needs ;) After we got home I was craving pumpkin pie so I made one, in a graham cracker crust. That seems to be the way to do it here in New England. I had never had it that way until O and I made pie last year for Thanksgiving. As I was making the pie I called my grandparent's house. I talked to my aunts, my younger brother, my dad and his wife. I heard my grandma went for a walk with a group of my family around Flagler, about a mile. Though she had a walker she did the whole walk and still had energy to play cards!! I was so happy to hear that! I also called my older brother and my mom. By then I had a massive headache. So I took some sleeping medication and passed the hell out!!

This makes my day!

This is a video that I first saw in orientation for the University of Bridgeport. It expresses my feelings exactly and shows why I am proud to be a teacher (working toward it technically).